Hi ho, hi ho....

It's back to work I go! Starting with a conference in Cincinnati next week (can you say THREE nights of consecutive sleep???? V. exciting!!!), and after 7 LOOOOOOOOOOOONG months, I am going back to work.

My feelings here are SO mixed. On one hand, I LOVE my time here with the babies (despite any complaining that I might do; we all complain about our jobs now and then, right?). I love watching Anderson wake up every morning, and doing all of the daily feeding and snuggling. I love watching Amelia stretch when you unbundle her to change her diaper--she does it every single time, and it is adorable. I love watching them change on an almost daily basis; it seems like they're doing something new all of the time. Going back to work will mean missing a lot of these little moments that nobody can appreciate in the same way that a mother can.

On the OTHER hand, going back to work signifies a return to a "normal" life. It is normal for a person to get up in the morning, have a little coffee, and go to work. This is what I have done for as long as I can remember. Although the past year brought me two of the most beautiful children in the entire world, and we had a (relatively) happy ending, the year itself was an absolute, 100% nightmare. From having spotting and super-early contractions, to being told that Amelia had Trisomy 18 and would not survive, to finding out that Anderson ALSO had IUGR (intra-uterine growth restriction)...bedrest at home, 3 visits to L/D for Terbutaline to stop contractions, 3 stints on the dreaded Mag Sulfate (seriously, this crap could be used as a means to get terrorists to talk; I promise, with a high enough dose (and yes...my doctor accidentally gave me an entirely too-high dose...), criminals would firmly believe that they are on their way to a slow, agonizing death...), and the final straw of a full month of hospital bedrest (I can still tell you the weekly menu at Central Baptist--it NEVER changes, I promise)...I can firmly say it was a bad year. Especially for someone who does not enjoy sitting around and doing nothing. Returning to work will mean returning to MY normal. It doesn't hurt that my co-workers are some of the most fun, most supportive, coolest people to work with! Going back to be with them isn't unappealing.

So...I'll probably remain conflicted right up until the day I go back. I'm sure that, like so many mothers before me, that morning that I have to leave my babies with someone else for 8 full hours, I'll be a wreck. Hopefully, though, I'll be able to keep it all in perspective, get through the day, then come home to Anderson's huge smile and Amelia's sweet little look of recognition that she ALWAYS gets when I'm around her. Cross your fingers for me--it seems so easy on paper. :)

Here are a few pics from Anderson's most recent bath with Daddy. He loves his bathtime, and with the recent discovery of his feet, has been kicking up a storm--or should I say splashing up a storm--in the tub. Unfortunately, Ms. Amelia is still not enjoying her baths--most of the time, she just screams like a banshee--so no fun bath pics of her yet. I'm hoping one day soon she likes it a little better...